Don’t let her in the door and there will be no reason for confronting her.

Maybe it is time to for them to comfront each other. I don’t know what to say you’ve kind of been pushed into a situation that you shouldn’t be worrying about, but if you are arguing every time she leaves than maybe she shouldn’t be welcomed into your home. Your wife and her sister can try a sit down and you can be there too….but just to watch that things don’t get out of hands this is NOT your problem for you to have to deal with. Make sure they are both honest with each other, they can communicate better that way and with you there they should bith be able to have a chance to say something. But remember DON’T pick sides that can cause some hostility. You don’t want her sister to feel like she is being ganged up on. I hope this helps you. It’s always important to be able to communicate. Especially with sibilings! :}~

These dynamics were set up a whole long time ago before you entered the picture. Your wife is reacting as she always has.

Most of the stuff you have in here means nothing, who cares if she takes yoga and your wife is an instructor? But talking your wife out of an inheritance, now that’s alittle different. How exactly did that happen? Its not like her sister reached into your wife’s purse and stole money out of it, more like your wife opened her purse for her sister and said “here, take what you want.”

You already know this is probably a sad, pathetic woman who has lousy self esteem and doesn’t believe she is worth loving. Self hatred is very destructive. However what I wondered is exactly what is it that you want? For your wife to stand up to her? Over what? What would that accomplish?

You don’t want her to visit, then tell her not to come. You can’t control what the sister does as far as classes or hobbies, but you don’t have to be around her either.

Like it or not, this is how it is between your wife and her sister. Stay out of it.

lock them in a room until they take it out.

Why do you invite her? People cannot visit if they arent invited. And If it has become a routine, pick up the phone and say ‘we will have to postpone our usual visit with you but will let you know when we can INVITE you another time’
Then dont. Why spend your precious time with your nice family in misery. That doesnt make any sense, nor does talking someone out of an inheritance when you are not the one bequeathing it!!!!

I wonder if older sis was a naughty girl as a teen and feels guilty for not measuring up like your wife did to what daddy liked.
Sad to say, it may be time to cut off family ties from the older sister who’s not being very sisterly and definitely not loving. You have to protect your family from things, people that bring division and strife in your peaceful home.